I don't know
by charis-chan
Summary: Kirika is feeling bad, she wants to die. Mirielle wants to be with her, but she feels guilty towards her parents. So they dont know what to do. R&R [shojoai yuri] I had edited, so I hope is easer to read.
1. Chapter 1

**Hospital Europeen Georges Pompidou**

_I don't know…_

_Maybe I can be a 16 years old Japanese girl, but I don't know…_

_Maybe I can be a girl without parents, but I don't know…_

_Maybe it be that my name is Yumura Kirika, but I don't know…_

_I don't know lots of things, but after our 'pilgrimage for the past' I know three things:_

_-**We **are noir._

_-I don't want to be a killer anymore._

_-And. I'm in love._

_I can hear the doctor talking, I don't know how many time I was in the ER room, but I don't care, after our return from the Manor she brought me here, the bullet is probably now in the trash, after been in my body for a few hours. I feel that the doctor and the nurse leave. That's good, I don't what to be here, and I don't want to be with people I don't know. I thought that I could survive without go to the hospital, but I was wrong._

_I could die, I wanted to die, but she ask for live, so what could I do? I want to be with Mireille, the person I love. But if I can, I prefer to die._

_I WANT to die!_

I can see her. She is sleeping in the bed, so quiet, she looks so innocent. She doesn't deserve this, after all her work she still don't know nothing about her. About her past. I love this girl, I love her with all my heart, and I know she love me, but it this right?

"Ms. Bouquet?" Doctor Fromont asked me.

"Yes?"

"I only want you to know that she is fine, but the next time be more careful, she is very young, she has a lot to live." And with that he leaves me alone.

She has a lot to live; I know she has a lot to live! but with whom? Returning home I'll ask her, if she wants to stay with me or if she prefers to leave. I don't want her to leave, but what can I do to stop her?

She was injure, she's strong, but I know that she can die, so I called some friends, they gave me the address of Doctor Fromont. The doctor that don't ask, only work.

I love Kirika, even if that is not her real name, I love her, but I feel bad, she is my parents murderer, I have to kill her, but I don't want. I do love her.

I can see her waking, she is trying to get up, but a wave of pain makes her to stay in the bed. Better enter and see how she feels.

_I see Mireille entering; she is wearing her usual outfit: red top, black skirt and black boots. She's so beautiful. She stops next to me._

_"How do you feel" she ask me a gentle smile in her face._

_I bow my head, so she can't see my face "I'm fine" a lie, I'm not fine, I want to die, I'm feeling useless, I'm feeling guilty for kill Chloe, I'm afraid of what Mireille will do. Is she going to kill me? I mean this is over, and she has a promise to keep. I don't want to live anymore. I don't know if she loves me, I don't think so. Who can love a demon that kills without feeling guilty? I don't have to ask, nobody can, nobody would and nobody will._

_No. Wait. There was who loved me. Chloe, she loved me. And I kill her; the only person that ever loved me is death now, and all because of me! I'm so stupid, but if she didn't die, then Mireille would be death right now. So, its okay, if Mireille can live, then it doesn't matter. But is she loves me?_

_"I want to ask you something" Mireille voice cut my thoughts, she is now near the window, she is staring at the rain "why did you stop that bullet?"_

_"Mireyu…"_

_"No I'm not finish. Why did you kill Altena? Why did you kill Chloe? Why did you try to save me?"_

_What is she thinking? I can't answer these questions; even I don't know the reason. No, I do. I did it because I love her._

_"I did it because…" I'm trying to get up of this bed, but the pain in my side makes me feel horrible. I can't rise, so I'll tell here even I can't look at her. " I did I it because… because I love you" is a whisper, but I feel Mireille tenses. I know she knew, and I also know that she don't feel the same._

_"You need to rest; I'll come to see you tomorrow. Please rest and health, I need you to be fine, if you are injure, you can't kill in our next job." She stares at me for somes seconds, the she leaves._

_What?_

* * *

A/N: This is my firts fic, so enjoy, I will be writing the next chapter, so please, review! 


	2. Chapter 2

**Hospital Europeen Georges Pompidou**

Why the hell did I said that? I mean, I don't want to return to work, not after all we suffer. Oh goddammit I'm so stupid…

I can see her through the glass of her room… she's crying, and it's my fault. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I want to go and hold her, but am I allow to? Are my parents want me to be with her? Is she wants to be with me?

Kirika's room is on the six floor, she's in the highest part of the building, so I walk to the lift, I'm tire, and I don't want to use stairs. There are a lot of people, many plastering, others with burnings. I reach the elevator, the door open immediately, a doctor pass quickly by mi side. I enter and press the first floor button.

Why did I have to be so selfish? She's suffering but the only thing I can do is say: "if you are injure, you can't kill in our next job". I love her, why can't I tell her? Because she's my parent's murderer. I'm the most stupid woman in the whole world!

The lift stop in the third floor, a couple enter, she is carrying a little baby girl, they see so cute. Why can't Kirika and I being like them? I wish we could. I really want.

_Why Mireille? Why? I think you would be gentler. I almost die, I almost die for you__. I… I want to die, I want to be with you Chloe, you loved me, and I was the one that murdered you, I need you!_

_Theirs is the nurse, she's checking me. I feel helpless, I feel useless, and I feel loveless. She's writing something in a paper, when she's done she smile at me, I can't help it, I start to cry. Her smile fall and a worried expression appear in her face._

"_What happen? Are you feeling bad? You want to call your sisiter, Mss. Bouquet?" Mss. Bouquet? Sister? What does she mean? I don't have a sister and I'm not a Bouquet! Wait, maybe Mireille said that I am her sister. She doesn't have imagination…_

"_You want I call her?" the nurse ask me again, It's looks like her name is Isabel. I shake my head 'no'. "so why are you upset, you need something?"_

"_Yes. Isabel?" she nod me "Can you bring me a piece and a pen? Please?"_

"_Here you are" she gives me her pen "I'll go for the paper" she says as she leave the room._

_Why I need a pen? And a paper? For what? Well maybe I can write Mireille a letter, yes I can do that, maybe afterwards I can feel better, I really felt better when I wrote the fist letter. But Mireille didn't read the last letter, did she? I don't know, I hope not so. If she read it, the why she was so cold?_

"_Here you are sweetie" Isabel is here again, she has the paper she told me she would being me._

"_Thank you. Can I be alone for a moment please?"_

"_You're adorable! You have so good manners. Your parents surely are very proud of you."_

"_Uh… Thank you" I tell her before she leaves "But I don't think so" I say under my breath._

_So lets star write._

**Mirielle's apartment**** (The next morning) **

Mmm. The bed fell good. The sun in your face. The smell of the pillow. Kirika by my side, uh, wait, Kirika isn't here. O yes, she's not here. I remerber.

It's good to be home again, if only Kirika could be her. Well at least she is in hospital reasting. I was asleep, what woke me up? O yes, the phone.

I reach the damn thing, it's ringing loud. "Hello?"

"Miss Bouquet?" a female voice greet me.

"Yes."

"I'm Isabel, Miss Ann personal nurser."

Ann? Who's Ann? Ah. Right Kirika's 'name'. Wait, something is not good…

"It's Kiri… Ann allright?"

"I'm afraid not"


	3. Chapter 3

_I'm sorry Mirielle._

She was so stupid. Why she did that? I begged her for live! I begged her because I love her! Why did she do this! My tears run down like a small river. All because of her. She was so stupid.

When I came to the hospital I was afraid. Afraid of what happened to her. I thought that maybe she was bad because her bullet wound. But no!

She was smart.

She was beauty.

She was cute.

But…

She was a kill machine.

She only letted me a letter:

* * *

_Mireille:_

_I want to tell you what I fell._

_I love you._

_I want you to know that._

_But also I feel sorrow. I feel pain. I feel that I don't deserve to be here. I need to go. I need to leave. I need to be free. Free of this world full of sin, full of persons that do everything for power._

_Mireille, I'm damned. My body is fill with death. With evil._

_Mireille I really love you. Please forget me. You don't deserve to remember someone like me. _

_Please._

_Please live your life._

_Forget me._

_I'm sorry Mireille._

_I'm really sorry._

_Please take care of yourself._

_I have to go Mireille. My time is running. The nurse is coming I need to do this now._

_I love you._

* * *

That's it.

This is all I have from her.

I really love her. Why didn't I tell her?

I'm at her grave. Her little body is under me.

The tears don't end.

The damn girl killed herself with a pen.


	4. Petition

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The administrators of are as of June 4th going to be taking down Fics that have lemons or have extreme violence. Now I don't know about you but I think thats stupid. There are many wonderful fics that only have one or two lemons in them yet the plot itself is awesome! You can't just take down a 100,000+ word fic just because it has a lemon in a chapter that is only 1000 words long. Now I urge you all to read the petition below, sign it, and repost this to your own fics. Hopefully if we make enough noise everything will return to normal. Thank you.

Greetings to the fine folk that moderate our site.

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There is a petition online at change org. Sign it, please. Just go there and search fanfiction. You'll see it when it comes up. Support your fellow readers and writers by signing this petition. Thank you all for you support and for reading my stories.

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